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Dead battery, copperheads … and little secrets

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The battery in my wife’s automobile died, and then she found out about the copperhead snake ‘issue’ we’ve had recently. You never know where the drama of a morning rush will move you.

The battery in my wife’s automobile died, and then she found out about the copperhead snake ‘issue’ we’ve had recently. You never know where the drama of a morning rush will move you.

I gotta wife and we have a boy in the first grade. She works. I work. He goes to first grade. Getting all three of those motives rolling together each morning … well, you know.

One recent morning, the wife was close to being late for work. Told her to get gone and I’d get the boy where he had to go. Fine. Good. She went to the carport to launch off. She’s back in the house 20 seconds later, “My battery’s dead or something. It isn’t cranking. Can I take your truck?”

“Hold up there. I gotta have my truck and we need to get fixed what’s wrong with yours,” I said. Time’s ticking. You can lose a morning quick if you ain’t careful. It’s like herding lizards, but I’ll get to that later.

The neighbor comes out of nowhere. I see her only a few seconds before she’s right there on top of us under our carport. We like her fine. But that morning was no morning for chit-chat. The neighbor had a concerned look on her face that she wanted to share. She did.

“Y’all in a hurry? I got something you need to see. I think it is a copperhead snake,” she said in a nice but in a “nobody’s leaving here until we address this” sort of way.

Wife’s eyes go big. Mine go, “Dang it.”

Neighbor had the snake right there in a five-gallon bucket. She captured it. Had a long claw that looked like it was built for such things. Yanked if from one of her flower beds that butts right up to our property. I was a little impressed. She went on to say she’d seen but missed another snake that was ‘huge,’ as she put it, producing dimensions in the air with her hands and arms. She pointed to the snake’s last known path, which of course was in line with our shed. I want to find the copperhead she measured out. A world record. A capture or kill on that magnitude would have landed me on the local news with rumors of National Geographic calling soon. I doubted it, but that didn’t matter now did it.

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